I like socks.

I like buying shoes, but I don't like wearing shoes. Is it too old-ladyish to admit that every pair of shoes I own hurt my feet, except for my brown flip flops? Even my black flip flops hurt, and they are the same model as the brown flip flops. The only difference is that they are black, not brown.

I like socks. But, what causes them to magically disappear? I purchased a three-pair pack of socks one day at lunch in hopes of staving off the pain of my shoes. I put one pair of socks on my feet and the two other pairs, I put in my purse. When I got home from work that night, I reached into my purse for the two pairs of socks. There were only three individual socks in there. What happened to the fourth sock? It is gone. Disappeared! Is there a chemical in socks that cause them to occassionally dissolve? Are invisible aliens stealing our socks? Is there a cabal of sock stock owners that’s sending stealthlike sock stealers into peoples’ homes to steal their socks so as to drive up sales of socks?

I like pie crust, but I can’t say I’m a huge pie fan.

I don’t like the fact that my favorite coffee shop closed.

I like the Brady Bunch and any media associated with the Brady Bunch. I have seen all the tv series (the Brady Brunch, the Brady Brides, etc.). I’ve seen all the movies, including the cheesy made for tv movies, like the one where Bobby was a race car driver, as well as the big screen movies with Shelly Long. I’ve even, believe it or not, seen a stage version of Brady Bunch. Instead of chairs, the audience sat on cushions and beanbag chairs to watch a recreation of that famous “Mom said don’t play ball in the house” episode. The memorable “Oh my nose!” flashback scene was recreated by throwing numerous Nerf footballs slowly at Marsha’s nose. Ah, the sweet, sweet memories of a glorious theatrical masterpiece.

I really like the sandwiches at my local “Snubflay” shop. Why oh why do the sandwich engineers at Snubflay have to be so un-hygienic? If they’re not draping their dirty shirts over my sandwich, they’re cracking their gum, open-mouthed, while they are engineering said sandwich.

I like the egg white omelets created by our local health food emporium, Beyond Juice. I wonder how healthy it is to eat numerous egg white omelets weekly? They are just so yummy.

I like doing pottery. But, should I have opened my eyes and cheated, even though the teacher told us to close our eyes, while we sculpted our masterpieces at the class I took recently at the Detroit Institute of Arts? I will try to post a photo of said “masterpieces,” but all I can say is that boy did they do a good job glazing them. Because, due to the fact that we were instructed to keep our eyes closed while sculpting, my bowls look like they were fashioned by a monkey. Not your average monkey, but a one-eyed left-handed monkey just getting over a heroin problem, who, while sculpting the bowls right-handed, was also painting a self-portrait with his feet and opening and eating a plantain with his dominant and more artistic left hand. That’s how bad these bowls appear. But, on the bright side, as I said before, the glaze looks marvelous.

To conclude, as this post is getting long and a tad tedious, I like the color green.