Sicilio-Judaic

So, I was watching some stupid legal drama a couple morning ago and I realized that the lawyer was Jewish and the cop was Italian. And they were both very stereotypical. Why couldn't the lawyer be the Italian the the cop be Jewish? My inner Siciliana and my inner Jewish woman were both offended.

Employment opportunity.

I went shooting (cameras, not guns) last night in the City of Detroit at a new park. It was lovely. There were two of us. Even though we knew better, we were both shooting at the same time. In the city, I've been warned by photography professionals that one should shoot (cameras, not guns) while the other keeps an eye on said shooter. Well, our evening ended without incident, although we both commented that next time, we will bring a third and one of us will spot the others.

So, today, not heeding my own warning, I went out shooting again at lunchtime, without a spotter. A commotion occurred due to my lack of vigilance: I was run over by a kid riding a two-wheeler with training wheels. He had careened out of control and was far ahead of his German au pair. He aimed his lethal Shwinn right towards me. I didn't see him as I was shooting a photo of a pretty flower. All of a sudden, my ankle felt like someone had stepped on it. I said "ouch!" I turned, and an almost toothless six-year-old looked up at me and said "thorry." I said I was ok, but the German au pair began to apologize as well.

The kid on the Shwinn of doom careened away, undoubtedly aiming for another innocent soul in his bike ride of horror. I dragged myself back to work, looking forward to telling people that I got run over...by a kid on training wheels. I'm trying to milk it for all it's worth. I'm fine actually. I have a welt on my ankle and my skin is scraped, but otherwise, I am fine.

So, if you'd like to be a photographer's spotter, please let me know.

Agatestone

Hip hop music.

So, I was asleep. Sound asleep. Suddenly, a weird sound woke me up. It sounded like hip hop music and I was scared. Where was it coming from? Then, it happened again. I realized that the hip hop sound was coming from my stomach. I had gone to bed hungry and my stomach was growling. And the growling sounded like hip hop music.

I'm tired. I'm hungry. I don't want to get up to eat. I don't want to negate the effects of my evening's workout.

I supposed I could get a bowl of cereal. But, it's 1:46 am and I just don't feel like eating. Maybe I'll just try sleeping again.

Nubs.

I love the word "nub." It's so useful.

For example:

I have nubby fingernails.

I think the Mini Cooper is a nubby looking car.

Baby carrots are nubby (and as a carrot disliker, I must say that they are also unpleasant, but less unpleasant than regular sized carrots due to their nubbiness.)

It was more fun than a barrel of monkeys!

I can't imagine that a barrel of monkeys would be fun at all...especially for the monkeys. I think that it would be horrific. If one were to fill a barrel of monkeys, I believe that mayhem, including fighting and biting, would ensue.

Please think before you exclaim that your picnic, the raquetball tournament, the competitive pizza tossing toss-off, whatever you're interested in, was more fun than a barrel of monkeys. It's unfair to the monkeys.

I wish...

that I had something of interest to talk about. I do not. So, I will talk about more of my favorite things in the world:

1) The pint of raspberries I bought last night at Whole Foods.

2) Whole Foods

3) The scent of the morning air.

4) The Chocolate Pudding Cake I made on July 4th.

5) My new flowy scarf that my sister helped me pick out one day while we were shopping and my shoulders got cold.

6) Chocolate Sorbet.

7) My new socks.

8) Buttered noodles

9) Grapes.

10) Butterflies.

11) Lime Sorbet.

12) The Mourning Dove in the backyard with the extra beat to his coo. Just when you think he's done with his current two-beat coo, he sneaks in another quick one beat. I think there is a possibility that he likes jazz.

13) Biographies.

Wonder.

I just witnessed this beauty of nature:

Fairies

Here's one of Ann Arbor's famous Fairy Doors. My sister spotted me whilst I lay on the ground taking this photo. There are supposedly quite a few around town. I believe we've only seen two so far.

See this link here for more on Fairy Doors.

Seriously, do you really think I'm that stupid?

The scene:

An outdoor table earlier today at at cafe in Arbor.

The characters

Agatestone and The Breakfast Czar.

Scene 1

Agatestone

"So Breakfast Czar, how many of my Cranbrook photos do you think I could get on one DVD?"

Breakfast Czar

"I am sure you could get an entire Cranbrook trip, which you said was roughly 60 photos, on a DVD."

Agatestone

"But what if I don't go to Cranbrook? What if I go to Meadowbrook instead? How many of those photos will I be able to get on a disk?"

This is when all hell breaks loose. The Breakfast Czar actually begins to explain that regardless of what I photograph or where I go to take photographs, I will still be able to get over 60 photos on a disk. My dear sister honestly thought I was that stupid and didn't realize I was joking!

I would love to take this skit on the road and perform it for unsuspecting relatives and friends. We talked about it but realized that there is no way we'd be able to keep straight faces. Yes, I would play the fool, but I think we could get a lot of laughs out of it.

After grilling her about her motivation, she pointed out that as a computer consultant, she gets countless stupid questions and she is desensitized enough that she just answers them without making any sort of verbal judgment, like "Gee Agatestone, you are a complete moron."