company meeting

Our company meetings, which are few and far between, and usually very boring affairs that conclude with maybe a catered party or at the least, chips, beer and wine. Why, then, do I dream elaborate dreams about our company meetings? Once such dream included John le Carre-type spy games in the woods near Pine Knob. Another had the company touring a fine woolen mitten factory where I discovered I was unable to afford any of the high-priced woolen items. The third dream took place in a furniture shop and involved shopping for furniture with the company and then dining on hot and sour soup that had been ladled from large vats placed in the middle of the furniture showroom. Perhaps an intuitive reader to these dreams may know exactly what they mean. Maybe it's quite clear to someone. But, not to me.

Reading is fundamental.

Some literary mascots were out for the day. Perhaps they were going to lunch or maybe just enjoying the nice weather.

sarcasm

I thrive on sarcastic humor. I think humor is an important aspect of any conversation. If I can't make someone laugh, I'm just not doing my job right. My father gave us lessons in sarcasm when we were children. No kidding. If someone asks for a hand, he taught us to always give them a rousing ovation. I love that type of stuff. But, now, I'm faced with my greatest challenge. Somone who doesn't find me funny. It is irking me to no end. There is a person in my daily life who I have tried jokes and sarcasm on to no avail. They don't find me funny and I feel like they even get a little offended at my humor. Well, the challenge is on. I'm going to make this person laugh no matter what.

chant

Is it odd to write a fan letter to a cantor? Her singing was incredible. I was captivated by the spirit and enthusiasm she brought to the service, so I asked around for her e-mail address and wrote her a fan letter. I wonder how common a practice this is? It's not like I'm going to become a cantorial groupie or anything. I'm not going to raise a lighter during a slow song. I'm not going to get tattooed with the names of my favorite cantors. It's just that who doesn't enjoy well-sung, uplifting liturgical music?

i scream

Is it odd to have an ice cream place programmed on the speed dial of one's cell phone? You see, sometimes I am tooling around town and I have a hankering for some chocolate sorbet. And, the ice cream establishment that I frequent doesn't always keep chocolate sorbet in stock. So, before I make the trek over there, I like to call on my cell to establish whether the chocolate sorbet is available.

No, I don't think it is odd. It is common sense. Really.

bastard?

I was going through some old receipts and I found a note in my handwriting, written in purple ink, which I only use at work, with this solitary sentence scribbled on it:

"People are bastard-coated bastards with bastard-flavored filling."

Did I make this up? Did I read this somewhere? Was I really upset at someone from work? I don't know and don't remember. But, it is a valid quote nonetheless...sometimes.

...ok. I just Googled the phrase and apparently it is from the TV show, Scrubs. I had hoped it was me who was the clever person who came up with the quote. Oh well...

dreamy

The first dream.  So, besides my full-time work in the editorial field, my company was a world-class natural science research facility.  What this means is that the entire office had to travel to the fossil quarry in Ontario and take soil samples, look for fossils, and walk through the woods to conduct nature experiments.  I had four people on my research team: one snaggle-toothed guy who I made up in my head; a girl who I used to work with and who is really nice; and another pal from work.  My two friends were assigned each other as partners and I had to go into the woods with my partner, snaggle-toothed guy.  Since he was snaggle-toothed, his esses (s) were sibilant, meaning he sort of lisped/spitted when he talked.  So, he kept addressing me by name, which was irking me, as every time he said my name, which has an "S" in it, his spitty esses flew into my face.  I had to keep washing my face.  Surprisingly, there were quite a few faucets out in the woods!  There really wasn’t any more to the dream, except that the company stayed in a very nice hotel in Ontario.
 
Second dream.  Besides my full time work in the editorial field, my company was also an animal conservancy.  When I was done with my editorial job for the day, I had to go on to my apprenticeship.  Yes, I was learning to be a falconer!  Since I was new to the job, I was helping out training the baby falcons to come back when we released them...

Christmas Party

This was written one week ago:

We just got done with our work Christmas Party breakfast and I wanted to give a brief review of the food.  Actually just a review of one dish: The Fruit Salad.  Never before in my years have I had a fruit salad that tasted of wet puppy dog, but today, I have.  I have never tasted puppy dog, wet or otherwise, but I have a good idea of what they must taste like.  It was a quite unpleasant fruit salad.  The sweet potato pancakes were also slightly jarring, but it was the wet puppy dog-tasting fruit salad that really killed the meal for me.  The mimosa I enjoyed after The Fruit Salad tragedy was delightful, however.

I can't hear you, I have jello in my ear!

Although I do consider myself an adequate cook (I make a mean Chicken Parmesan and I am quite capable of making a variety of homemade soups), I seem to be having quite a few kitchen mishaps these days. Here is what happened yesterday:

So, I have never made Jello in my life. I am certainly not anti-Jello. I enjoy a good Jello every once in a while. It’s just not a food I’ve ever had a hankering to make. Kind of like carrots. I will eat them in they’re in front of me, but I don’t seek them out. Recently, our local grocery store had one of those 10 for 10 sales on Jello. I purchased 4 for myself and the rest for my mother, is is very pro-Jello. I purchased two lime Jellos and two Cherry Jellos. Yesterday, I decided to make a lime Jello mold for lunch at my sister’s today. So, I followed the directions, boiling, mixing, chilling the Jello. It was time to pour the Jello into the mold. The mold was recently used and washed by someone other than myself. So, I took the mold out of the cabinet, inspected it to see if it was clean and if the bottom was on (the mold’s top and bottom both snap on and off). After a visual inspection, I surmised that the mold was clean and the bottom was on. I began to pour the lime Jello into the mold. Lo and behold, I discovered that whomever had washed and put away the mold did not secure the bottom of the mold correctly. The lime Jello came gushing out of the bottom of the mold onto the countertop. As I jerked the mold sideways and flung it into the sink, the trajectory of the gushing lime Jello made it hit a dish in the sink and splash upwards. Sadly, the left side of my face was in the same trajectory as the lime Jello, uncharacteristically now aloft, and my face and ear collided with the flying Jello. Just in case you’re wondering, lime Jello stings slightly when it travels into the ear. So, I cleaned up the remains of my failed first experience making lime Jello. The clock was ticking. I had an engagement in just over an hour. My face was sticky with lime Jello. I had a choice to make. Clean myself up right away or make another Jello, as I wouldn’t have any other time to do it. I chose to quickly make the cherry Jello. The process went smoothly, even with half my face green with the remnants of the formerly flying lime Jello. I rushed to wash the lime Jello off of my person as the cherry Jello chilled. The cherry Jello gelled quickly and I successfully poured it into the mold, of course after securing the bottom of the mold securely. The the not-Lime-but-Cherry Jello mold was introduced to rave reviews at lunch today.